Ecloga de Laude Calvorum ad Carolum (Hucbald of Elnon, transmitted by Trithemius)

An Eclogue in Praise of Bald Men, to Charles (Hucbald of Elnon; in Trithemius’s transcription)

From the book On Ecclesiastical Writers by Johannes of Trittenheim, abbot of Sponheim, of the Order of Saint Benedict.

Hucbald, a monk of Elnon, of the Order of the divine father Benedict, a Gaul by nation, a man most learned both in divine Scripture and in secular letters, in music, poetry, philosophy, oratory, and the other humane arts second to no one in his time, as the many little works elegantly written by him attest. Of these I have thus far found only the following: to Charles the Bald, emperor, a marvelous work of one hundred and thirty verses, all of whose words begin with the one letter C, as in: Carmina clarisone, calvis cantate Camene. He entitled it Eclogue on the Praise of Bald Men, one book. On Music, one book. The Deeds of Saint Lebuin, one book. Letters to Various Persons, one book. He also described the lives of many saints in ornate eloquence, and composed chants in their honor in sweet and regular melody. He flourished in the time of the emperor Charles the Bald, in the year of the Lord 880.

Here begins the eclogue of lord Hucbald, monk of Elnon, of the Order of Saint Benedict, addressed to Charles the Bald, emperor

Stricken by abuse, he who tried to censure bald men sang songs; let bald men be celebrated in song. All of you, recognize the bright song in clear sight.

Preface, in which the Muses are invited to the praise of bald men

Sing songs in clear tones for bald men, Muses; I shall try to commemorate bald men in fitting song. Against the curl-haired, let the hairs of the neck confound them. Let the skilled Muses celebrate bright songs together. Let them praise bald men together; let them praise hard things under the charge of those trying to attack bald men with curling laughter. Let the summit of the spear rise for the cause of bald men. Let all the long-haired, with matted hair, be silent. Let harmonious songs together sing to bald men, terrifying with a song all those who are going bald.

That baldness seems to come to each person as a certain foretelling of things to come. Chapter 1

Sing songs in clear tones for bald men, Muses, when the crown of the head grows at the nape. It marks the companion of the clergy as a bald man, destined to receive the bright crown, when Christ grants it. As though plucking hairs from the head, he plucks sins from the heart. In heart he looks upon the Creator, in body upon heaven. Desiring to reach the heavenly citizens by worship, he condemns all sins together with fleeting cares. Desiring eagerly the ascent to heaven, the harmony of the heavenly ones, he praises the Creator of all things.

That bald men are singers, abbots, doctors, and also bishops and priests. Chapter 2

Sing songs in clear tones for bald men, Muses. Bald men, tuneful, rejoice together with a lofty cry, and they continue the choirs, singing chaste dances. All conformed to the head, with concordant body, they strive to establish the most pleasing folds of the clergy. Taking up the horn, they sound the heavenly trumpets. They make the dear chrism in the name of Christ. They join in one band the assemblies sprinkled with chrism. In concord, carefully, they celebrate together the banquets of the supper. They satisfy Christ’s guests with flesh and blood.

That bald men are kings and emperors, and also consuls, legislators, and judges. Chapter 3

Sing songs in clear tones for bald men, Muses. Bald men reign together; illustrious, they mount the heights, conspicuous, adorned with a golden crown upon the neck. Merciful in judgment, they establish the counsels of clients. Beware, O long-haired one: bald men condemn crimes. It is clear that a bald censor establishes judgment. Believe that the biting bald man, prudent, is to be avoided. The blind man judges that the balding man is blind in body. Cease, blinded man, to censure the baldness of the bald man. Cease to gnaw at the bald-headed man; cease, cease.

That bald men are leaders of an army, and themselves also learned and strong warriors. Chapter 4

Sing songs in clear tones for bald men, Muses. Bald men lead companies renowned in battle. Bald men fight together, crested with the cone of the helmet. They hurl, they brandish; swift, with slaughter, they strike the troops. They seize chariots; they trample the long-haired under heel. With the spear they pierce them; with the flashing hilt they cut them to pieces. Necks fall; bald men celebrate the sailors’ cry with a shout. The bald man, shrewd when stirred to fight in battle, tramples, strikes down, and compels the long-haired to yield. He takes captives; he binds the captured by the neck.

The praise of bald men from the experience of the art of medicine, both pharmacological and surgical. Chapter 5

Sing songs in clear tones for bald men, Muses. You will find that bald men bring support to the brain. You will find that bald men cure catarrhs of the head. You will find that bald men cure blind cavities. A chronic disease with cancer, and cachexy too, yields to the bald man. Heart-sickness, gnawing the heart, is abolished; colic ceases. Drawing together the iron, he holds it fast in the cut flesh. He treats the corrupted blood of the head when the neck has been heated. Why do I sing of many more things? In a failing body he refutes all hidden ailments, and cures bodies that have collapsed.

An undaunted invective against the reviler who abuses bald men. Chapter 6

Sing songs in clear tones for bald men, Muses. In your heart, O curly-haired man, beware of contending with the Creator, and cease to direct abuse against the creature. The all-powerful Creator of causes established all created things, taking care and forethought to bestow care on what he had created. He bent the bristle so that the bright crown of the bald man might rise, granting him a summit to which he compelled all things to yield. Terrified, why does he bark with a doglike cry? Let the fallen gourd consider the bald man in the filth. Let the filthy slander of that man be silent at once.

Likewise against the same man, and praise of bald men for humility, charity, and chastity. Chapter 7

Sing songs in clear tones for bald men, Muses. Why do you think the fellow of butchers tears the skin from the bald man? The bald man tears out the sins of the heart. Why do you think bald men sprinkle ashes on the head? The bald man knows that the body grows together from ash. Why do you think the flesh is burned with hot charcoal? Bald men burn their hearts, thoroughly kindled by the heat of Christ.

Why do you think that the bald man, chaste in body, is castrated?
In his heart he is quickly castrated from all faults.
Restrain your butchering mockery against the bald man in song.

The reproach of his flesh, and an example from the prophet Elisha and the boys who mocked him. Chapter VIII

Clear-sounding Muses, sing songs for the bald.
In clear songs I take care not to join blind things together.
Let the heights that must be trodden down be trodden down with the heel.
You filthy one, singing filthy things, close your reed-pipe.
Certainly it is judged, kept safe in the book of judgment,
that the clearer-sighted bald man will have conscience as his attendant.
When the little dog was stirred up and barking around him with laughter,
they cried: “Go up quickly; go up, bald man.”
It is clear that he at once condemned foul crimes,
and bodies, gnawed by abuse, fall captive together.

On the excellent bald man Paul the Apostle, that he was called by Christ and carried up into the third heaven. Chapter IX

Clear-sounding Muses, sing songs for the bald.
Let songs for the bald be heaped up with the bald man’s song,
that conspicuous man whose cruel caution in slaughter
had stood ready to butcher the worshippers of Christ.
Let all rejoice together over the bald man shining round with charismatic radiance,
when, blinded, he was summoned by the cry of Christ.
He quickly fell, pierced as if by the point of a lance,
and at once undertook ascents to the summit of heaven,
beholding the Almighty with clearer sight.
The heart whose heavenly chastity shines was made his companion.

That from a persecutor he became a preacher, and that he forbids nourishing hair and uttering shameful speech. Chapter X

Clear-sounding Muses, sing songs for the bald.
Gather choirs together; celebrate dances for the bald man.
We have found that the famous bald censor should be joined and revered,
the consul of heaven, consulted for counsel about taking care.
He counsels that all filthy crimes be restrained.

He judges that common benefits should be shared with all.
He confounds chariots; he founds civic assemblies
by reconciling the fellow-spouses of Christ-worshippers.
He stirs hearts, striving to join the body to the head.
Let the frightened man cease to despise famous bald men.

The poet addresses the Muses concerning the mocker, indicating that he was blinded by the judgment of the bald king. Chapter XI

Clear-sounding Muses, sing songs for the bald.
Restrain the cruel man, caught in crime,
who strives with vain effort to tear down all bald men.
Shut the swiftly convicted man in blind enclosures,
convicted by abusive fictions, the deranged man’s perishable inventions.
The baldish censor judges that the man caught in crime should be blinded.
Blind dog, cease to despise the bald man.
Bow down, dog, fabricating crimes against the bald.
Bow down, dog, barking against bald men in song.
Bow down, dog; cease gnawing at bald men.

An epitome of the praise of bald men from the disposition and beauty of the body, and because the bald man is a microcosm. Chapter XII

Clear-sounding Muses, sing songs for the bald.
When you see the bright assembly, the gathered company of the bald,
understand the bald man as the circle of heaven;
know the summit of baldness as the center of heaven.
The other parts of the bald man commend the circuit of the cosmos.
Associate bald men with bald men; gather shining bald men.
Cynthia will cease to bring golden colors;
darkening her horns, she will yield to growing together with bald men.
Bald men shine; the helmet of bald men will gleam,
glowing red like the bright abundance of heaven.

Conclusion of the poem.

Clear-sounding Muses, sing songs for the bald.
May he undertake to set bright reeds in enclosures.
The song fit to be sung for illustrious bald men is completed.

Here ends the poem of the monk Hucbald to Charles, on the praise of bald men.